Letting Go of Outcomes
BIG NEWS! We moved to Los Cabos, Mexico…
…wait, nevermind.
Friends, the last 5 months have been a total whirlwind. After careful consideration, my husband accepted a job in Los Cabos, Mexico. Step by step we put plans in motion to move our family, enroll our kids in school, practiced Spanish daily, found a place to live, explored work opportunities for me and prepared, for now, to leave our life in California behind. As time passed and our plans solidified, I became more and more excited for this new adventure. There seemed to be signs everywhere, providing comfort that we were making the right decision. Pieces of the puzzle came together with relative ease. This path felt meant to be, part of our destiny. After tearful goodbyes, well wishes and big hugs, we made the journey south.
For my two daughters and myself, living in Cabo was a dreamy adventure. For my husband, it was nightmare. He quickly realized the work environment was quite toxic and negative. The stress for him was palpable. One of the most significant reasons, that tipped the scales in propelling our decision to take this leap in the first place, was that it would give our family unit the opportunity to grow even closer and have incredible adventures together. If one of our team members is deeply unhappy and miserable, pushing through to try and keep this dream alive was just not an option.
With a heavy heart, we pulled the plug and reengaged with our life back in California. We are so fortunate to have an incredible community of friends, in an especially beautiful and special part of our country. We received the most loving, arms wide open, welcome in our homecoming. Why then, did my heart hurt?
I’ve always been a planner and someone who likes to organize my life so that I achieve my desired outcomes. This attribute is a great strength and has served me very well in life. However, having such a strong attachment to outcome, and feeling the need to always have control of the plan, can also be my downfall. As I make plans, the universe just laughs! I realized my sadness and disappointment came from my deep desire to follow through with the plans I had put in place. This time the plan was not mine alone. Making a collective decision for the greater good, above personal desires, is an important part of my commitment to my family. I have the utmost respect for my husband, for having the courage to not allow money or status to be an acceptable reward for enduring extreme stress and negativity.
What I will take with me from this absolutely exciting, overwhelming, exhausting, confusing adventure is to hold on loosely. Even if it seems like the universe is lining things up just perfectly for you, hold space for the possibility that the plan unfolding is likely far bigger than the immediate circumstances in front of you. Many times what is happening in our lives has little to do with us, but serves as a puzzle piece to a much larger and complex purpose. Yes, of course it’s okay to make plans and have dreams, but keep the grip light, allowing the rope to slide through your hands when necessary. Inviting this little bit of surrender into your life, provides the universe the space to work its magic. I am deeply grateful for the health and love in our family. I am opening my mind and my heart to a new way of being…allowing what will be, to be. I believe that my life’s purpose is to support other beings on their path toward greater health, fulfillment and higher consciousness. However the universe intends to see this dharma unfold, I will do my best to keep my body, mind and spirit fluid, to ebb and flow like the tide.
“I am so grateful that surrender has taught me to willingly participate in life's dance with a quiet mind and an open heart. Each of us actually believes that things should be the way we want them, instead of being the natural result of all the forces of creation.” - Michael Singer