Turning a Disappointment Cycle into a Snowball Cycle
“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” - Tony Robbins
Is there a change you’re trying to make in your life, but, no matter what approach you try, the change you are seeking will not stick?
I call this a disappointment cycle. Let me give you an example…let’s say you desire to lose 10 lbs. You’ve tried many different ways to lose the weight, but, no matter what you try, the weight won’t come off, or, if it comes off, it won’t stay off! How frustrating! I believe there is a reason for this…unrealistic expectations. Often, when someone is trying to make a change, a belief develops that if the change happens all aspects of life will drastically improve as well. While this expectation is not always wrong, it’s generally unrealistic. With the example of losing 10 lbs., the person might believe that not only will the weight loss lead to improved health, more energy, better physical fitness, but this weight loss will also magically fix your broken relationship, transport you to living in your dream city, and hand you the career you deserve. WOW, that is a tremendous amount of pressure to put on the goal of losing 10 lbs. No wonder having your expectations met is so out of reach! Yes, those expectations might sound crazy, but most people are not even consciously aware that the belief, that one change should change everything, has developed. At this point you’ll feel discouraged, you’ll lose motivation and quit, sending you back to the beginning of the disappointment cycle. Eventually, motivation to tackle the goal will return only to have the cycle inevitably repeat. Does this sound familiar?
Okay, let’s spin it now, change your mindset, and reframe the expectations. It is realistic to expect that if you reach your goal of losing 10 lbs., you will feel healthier, have more energy, be more physically fit, maybe even have improved sleep. All wonderful, realistic results! By simply attaching realistic expectations to your goal, your likelihood of meeting those expectations drastically increases, along with your mental strength, leading to high levels of motivation to continue making positive changes. TIME TO SNOWBALL!
Repeat the process by defining your next goal, setting realistic expectations, achieving your goal, feeling proud and snowballing that energy into your next change cycle again and again. Be honest with yourself that even if you achieve a goal you’ve been striving for, it’s okay, and expected, that there may still be pain points in your life. Perhaps your next change cycle involves working on that broken relationship, brainstorming your ideal place to live, or taking steps to work toward having the career you deserve. By isolating each change, you release the pressure and expectation that one change will change everything. Is it a possibility that it will? Absolutely, but by not counting it as an expectation, you will set yourself up for success!
Learning to harness the power of the Snowball Cycle is just one of the many tools and techniques I use with my clients to make lasting, transformational changes. Check out The Practice on my website to find inspiration and for little nuggets of wisdom to help make your life less stressful and more fulfilling!